How's life he asks

How's life...
I've taken such a leap recently.. I've made a conscience effort to hang out with people I barely know and wisp by the last few months of my high school career. Completely ignoring those who have gotten me through the last 3 years. But this year their diff. But because they are different together they call us strange and judgmental. Judgmental may be true.. I scaring me to watch them become who they are becoming at such a late stage. If they were going to wait this long they should have waited till college bc that way u could just blame it on college and the crazy life style and.. I don't know.. I just don't want to watch them go down this road. This a complete vent blog. A blog where many of the though may not connect for most but other may get insulted by this blog for its about them and only them the ones who I have been with all through the times in my California chapter of my life. But now I'm no longer with them I'm just watching them and listening to their stories. I miss the innocent times we used to have together that no longer exist and I should really stop brining up because they are never commons back and anytime that comes to mind I find my stomach do that aching thing it does before crying but I wont let the tears come streaming down my face anymore its not worth the tears the tears are useless now the tears just feel like they are a mascot for my cowardness. That a word form my past. A boy once called himself a coward to me an innocent boy who has taken a sharp turn a turn he scolded me once for thinking of . A turn creating a boy who scares me an unreasonable boy.
how's life...
I don't know I'm letting it go because if a really lived what ever is going on in my head I don't think I would sleep at night the thoughts would just run over all of my body not letting the present seep through. I had plans dreams and wishes for my senior year which got crushed within seconds crushed by my own stupid mistakes